A million reasons to cry, only one reason to smile. :)

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Home, by: Blake Shelton

I feel like the lyrics above pretty much sum up my life right now. Like, I really miss home, but I don't think it's home necessarily, I think the hardest part about college is that you really don't have an escape from it for any extended period of time. I miss having somewhere that I could call home, that wasn't surrounded by gossiping girls..I miss being able to relax somewhere and feel at peace somewhere. I feel like I'm constantly being judged here..and it really makes me feel alone. Thankfully, I have Travis and really great friends that teach me that I'm not alone, every day of my life. I know that God is truly listening, but sometimes I wish that I could just go home and escape the daily battles of living with girls who gossip wayy too much. My last visit home was amazing, but way too short.


So when I make a big mistake
When I fall flat on my face
I know Ill be alright
Should my tender heart be broken
I will cry those teardrops knowin
I will be just fine
cause nothin changes who I am

I am rosemarys granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My mommas still my biggest fan
Sometimes Im clueless and Im clumsy
But Ive got friends that love me
And they know just where I'm staying
Its all a part of me
And thats who I am

Who I am, by: Jessica Andrews

I feel like these lyrics give me the strength and determination to stand on my own two feet and realize that I'm never alone and that there is always someone that I can depend on and know that they are my friend. Its hard sometimes to realize that God puts you through only what you can handle. I know that there are people who have it worse then me, but right now I feel like my plate is pretty full, especially because I'm really missing my Dad and I feel like I'm missing apart of myself...because I feel like I missed out on great lessons from him that I have yet to learn. I guess I'm sort of seeking out an Earthly father figure and it scares me that no one will ever measure up to how I see my Dad, because he was mine. This song reminds me of him so much..and it makes me so sad that I can't share my love for him..to him. I guess that this blog is the second best thing.

Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself
The outcome feels the same
I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast
And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain

I've been thinking 'bout everyone
Everyone, you look so lonely
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
I see someone else
When I look at the stars, the stars
I feel like myself

Stars by: Switchfoot.

This song really makes me remember who I am. It reminds me to be a light and to do what's right and have integrity even when it's hard. I feel like I have the resolve to stand up for myself and for what I believe is right. I am so grateful that I have Travis and my family, beside me, and that I know that no matter what..I have them to catch my fall, if I should ever need them to. Like, I value that so much, because i know that they will back me, even when my decision seems wrong or unpopular. I know their love for me extends across all of that. I am so grateful for it as well.

I guess I'm just going through a hard time right now. I will need as many prayers, hugs, well wishes, friends, that I can get.

I love you all.
-Becky